I’m watching Wire in the blood, and there are some interesting things being mentioned, that made me think. Yeah. Here’s my thoughts (interspersed with quotes from the show).

How many times have we felt empty, like there was a hole in our heart? I know I have. And I’m quite confident that a lot of us people have. We feel empty, searching for a purpose, a reason for life. We turn to friends and family, and sometimes it doesn’t work. They give us comfort, helps us to feel better, but it doesn’t solve the problem. “Helping someone feel better isn’t the same as curing them, is it?” We struggle with life, with finding a meaning for it. But as the guy in the show said “Is there a cure for life?”. Is there truly a cure? The thought came to me, maybe the only cure for life is death. Maybe the only way we can truly find what we are alive for, is by dying, or by finding out what we’d die for. Life, the meaning of life, why we are living, are problems and questions we all struggle with. It’s something I find myself struggling with from time to time. Is there truly a cure for it? I wonder.

People say that we live for God. That our lives serve his purpose. To quote the guy from the show: “If religion is the only reason to live, then God help us all”. I don’t fully agree with him, but I’m unsure. What is religion truly? Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Christianity (I know Christians will say that it isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship, but bear with me). What does religion truly give? We think that people from other religions are wrong, that their ideas are wrong. Their ideas even seem “insane to us”, at times. But could it be that “what seems insane to us is completely logical to the group”? What separates the religions? Each religion thinks they are right. Each religion gives provides friends, provides family, people who share their beliefs. And all they ask for is belief. So we give them that. We choose to follow what they say, we “renounce [our] will”, and it gives us what seems like a purpose. It removes our doubt, our torment. But its it really a cure? Or is it merely another way to help us feel better?

Christians will say that it isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship. Relationships don’t give us purpose in life, though, do they? We’ve all had a lot of relationships, be they BGRs, friendships, family, etc. Relationships are a part of our everyday life. They help us feel better, give us a sense of belonging, but they don’t give us a true purpose. Relationships are temporary, or in the very least, they have the potential to be. If a relationship is the reason for living, when the relationship ends, one has no purpose to live anymore, and might as well commit suicide. And do we not find it hard to understand people who commit suicide over a failed relationship (a divorce, break up, etc)? When a relationship ends, we tell the person struggling to move on. To let it go. If that’s the case, the relationship can’t be the purpose of life, can it? If the relationship was the purpose, when it ends, then there’s no point moving on and keeping on living. But that’s not the case. We accept this for our everyday relationships. If Christianity is a relationship, what sets it apart from these that we experience everyday?

No, I’m not shooting down Christianity, or any other religion. I personally believe in God, I do believe that he exists. The above is merely a train of thought that the show brought to mind, and largely a paraphrase and elaboration of what is said in the show. I’m not saying this as a belief of my own, but just something that I’m thinking of. Is it really true that God is what we live for? Is it really possible for us to truly know that, even if it is? After all, every religion thinks the same thing about their own beliefs. Terrorists think that they are right in suicide bombings, that it is their purpose in life to defend their beliefs and to remove the corruption in the world. How can we say for sure that they are wrong and we are right? To them, they are right. What seems insane to us is logical to those in the group. And how do we know that our beliefs aren’t the same way?

I woke up today with a new thought. Maybe yeah, the cure for life is death. Maybe the cure for our disillusionment of life and our lack of purpose in life is death. But maybe this is not death in the literal sense. Is it possible that it could be death in terms of “death to self”, as Christians say? Like, maybe in dying to self, giving up our own human will, maybe then can we truly find our meaning?
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Is there truly a cure for this disease we all face, this disease of life? Is religion really the reason to live? Is serving God truly our purpose? Or do we really have no meaning, that we just live, and that’s what we’re meant to do, all we can do? Sometimes I really don’t know.