So what’s ahead for me? 5 main things, in no particular order.

1. I’m going to be building my resume/portfolio site and attempting to do do some freelancing.
2. There are a couple of web services/projects I’m working on, that are almost ready to be launched, and should be launched sometime before this summer.
3. College. Pretty self-explanatory, I think.
4. Poker. My goal now is to become a professional poker player. So I’m going to work towards that, and probably spending most of next summer (once I’m 21), playing poker.
5. Helping individuals (especially some of the amazing students at Hampshire) realize that they can make money doing what they love, and attempting to help them with that process.

I’m also just going to keep my eyes open to any opportunities which may open up. But yeah, for now, I think I’m just focusing on getting things together and getting back in a proper position to move forward.

It’s been a tough few years, for sure, but I’m ready to go now.

Now, that’s about to change. I’ve finally decided to step out and go after this dream that I’ve had for the longest time, and as such, I’m putting up my very own concert. I’ll be doing 5 originals – which I’ve written over the past 2 months – as well as a few originals, from John Mayer, Bon Jovi and the like.

So, for those of you in Singapore on 30 April, I would love if you could come and support me. It’ll be at 8pm, at the HSR auditorium. Maybe you’ll be inspired that you too can live your dreams as well.

No recording yet, though, but that’ll come in time. In the meantime, here are the lyrics to one of my latest songs. Let me know what you think?

Out of this Mould

I stare blankly at this page before me
Every word I think of just seems so cliche
It’s a striking image of my own life
Where there’s nothing new, and everyday just seems to be the same

I’m tired of the same old story
The same old excuses and worries
And I know, that it’s time to make a change

I’ve got to break out of this mould
Step out of this comfort that I’ve been trained to live in
Got to break out of my routine
Follow my heart, and start pursuing my dreams
Can’t just keep doing what I’m told, no, no,
I’ve got to break out of this mould

I take two steps forward,
Then one step back
Struggling to find my way
On this brand new track
I search for a sign, or a path that I can follow
But there’s none,
And I’ve got to go on my own

I’m tired of being just another face in the crowd
It’s time for me to stand up up and finally be myself

So yeah, that’s it. A reminder to myself to be true to myself and not let anyone else dictate my life. If you have any comments/suggestions, I’d love to hear them. =).

Most colleges today use the Common Application. For those of you who do not know, the Common Application is basically an undergraduate application system that allows students to fill up a certain online form, and apply to various schools with that same form. It makes application more effective, as students only need to fill up one form, and can have it sent to a number of different schools.

I appreciate the effectiveness of the application format. The problem, though, in my opinion, is when schools take that as the only way to apply. By doing that, they’re forcing all students to fit into that one template, and in my opinion, it takes away any individuality from the student. A college application, in my opinion, is not much different from a job application. The application (your recommendations, transcripts, etc) are like your resume – it’s a reflection of who you are, an extension of your identity. By forcefitting all applicants into the same format, schools are taking away any option for creative expression.

Imagine if, when you apply for a job, the company requires your resume to be in a fixed format. That doesn’t quite fly, does it? Yes, they might have personal particulars forms which they need you to fill up, but the bulk of your job application – your resume – is your own. It’s up to you to create. That’s why you have so many creative and unique resumes (and a quick search on google will turn up even more).

Why should college applications limit students to that one plain bland format? Sure, give a personal information form for administrative purposes if you need. And yes, definitely, offer the Common Application as an option, because most students will just use it anyway for ease of application. But give students the option of standing out and letting their personality shine through their application, if they are willing to put in the work to create such an application. Don’t limit students and take away any option for remarkableness. Students are unique individuals too.

So, all that said, here’s the personal part which you can skip over if you’re not too interested – my application. While I initially wanted to do something like a box, a 3-dimensional application that was interactive, and could be felt and handled, I realized that I’d be better served doing an application which could be filed away (because that’s what the school is going to do anyway) and still maintain its uniqueness and impact. So here’s what I did.

Basically, I bought a folder, and made 4 A6-sized booklets, which each summarized a different portion of my life. You can download the pdfs to see what I put into the b0oklets, if you wish – about me, activities, academics, appraisals. On the right, I inserted the necessary supporting documents and essays, with a note detailing the different sections. On top of the whole application, I attached a cover letter explaining my application, acknowledging that their website requests for application to be done via the Common App, but stating my objection to that (basically my argument above), and explaining that as such, I had done up my own application.

In essence, I included all the information they required, but in my own format. It’ll be interesting to see which schools accept the application. And yes, I know, it might seem a bit self-indulgent. But I think if I really believe that the Common App falls short, I should be willing to take a stand on it. I’ve always been about being your own person, standing by your beliefs, and being unique. And I figured I needed to really let that show through my application – to really “let my true colors shine through”, if you will.

So yeah, all that said. What do you think? Am I being too stubborn and self-indulgent here? Or is it a good thing that I’m trying to stand out and stand by my beliefs?

Here’s a conversation from the movie (courtesy of IMDb):

Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred Pennyworth: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.

And I think it’s an interesting thought. The idea that sometimes, the heroic thing to do is to do nothing. I think very often, we get so focused on coming up with solutions and trying to do somethings. Sometimes, I think, the best thing to do is just sit, and wait, and let things happen.

Last month, Alexandra Samuel wrote about how a smartphone can make you more patient, by making you more willing to accept delays. He poses the question:

On your way to meet a colleague, you get stuck in traffic. Radio traffic reports tell you it’s a ten-minute backup. You can spend ten minutes inching forward, or you cut out and take a circuitous route that will add 15 minutes to your drive, but it’ll be 15 minutes in which you’re moving. Which do you you choose?

I know some people who would choose the latter. Some of us just want to know we’re moving, that we’re doing something. And I think with the urgency and immediacy we face and expect in today’s world, I think that number is growing.

But that’s not always the best thing to do. Sometimes, it’s better to just be patient, and let things happen. Sometimes, it’s not what you do, but what you don’t do that counts. Sometimes, it’s better to do nothing.

The challenge, of course, is knowing when to take action and when not to, and to have the strength and patience to go through with it.

What do you think? Are there situations which are better suited to not doing anything, and letting it resolve itself?

Here’s what happened. A few days ago, Jerrick and I were talking on Twitter. He’s back in Singapore for the holidays, and we were saying that we needed to catch up before he left again. Off the top of my head, I threw out the idea of doing something for New Years Eve with the other local social media people. Jerrick then retweeted the idea, and Ivy came across his retweet, and said it was a “great idea”. The three of us then started discussing what we should do, and by the next day, we decided (Ivy’s idea) to go hang out at Arab street for dinner, drinks and the like.

So, we created a twtvite and sent it out. People responded, and two days or so later, at the event, we had about 10 people show up. After dinner and some drinks, we decided to head to Hackerspace Singapore, for more conversations. And let me say, Hackerspace is awesome. They have a great idea, great beliefs and ideals, and I really hope they do well. But more on that another day.

Back to last night. We went to Hackerspace, and just hung out and talked. For something like 8 hours. In between that time, more people joined us, some left at various points in the night. But all in all, a group of us were there until 7 in the morning. We did a countdown, we talked about everything. From what social media meant to us individually, to our thoughts on how Singapore is like at the moment, to random conversations about toilets.

But it was great. Just hanging out, and having a great time with friends, filled with great conversation and discussion. I can’t think of a better way to start the new decade. Before yesterday, I had not met half of the people who were there before. By the end of the night (well, the morning, to be specific), I had made new friends, and I had had a night filled with great conversations, with really smart people.

So yes, that, in a nutshell, is why I love social media, and what I think it should be about. It’s what I’ve missed the most while I was on hiatus. Conversations, community and friendships, with a dash of spontaneity. We get so caught up sometimes worrying about how to monetize our blogs, how to build a reputation, how to further our personal brands, etc (and yes, don’t get me wrong, those things are important, in context), that we forget the social aspect of social media. And I think we need to always remember that.

At the end of the day, social media is about people. At least, that’s what I think.

What do you think? What is social media to you – and what do you like, or not like, about it?

Photo by mhisham

So, 2009. Where do I even begin? Honestly, it’s been one hell of a whirlwind year. I started off the year taking a hiatus from this blog, because having to be in the army was really affecting me and I didn’t feel like I was in the right emotional and mental state for maintaining this blog. And honestly, I don’t regret that decision.

I was in a really bad place at that time. I was bordering on depression (perhaps more than just “bordering”). My temper was at its all time worst, I was flaring up at everything and everyone, and my punching bag at home was being put to great use. I broke a couple of things in my room as well, flinging them against the wall in anger at various times. And to add to that, I was drinking a lot to take my mind off things and to get me by. In a nutshell, I was doing really badly.

In the midst of that, though, I do think I’ve grown. I’ve developed more resolve, to not accept things the way they are and to push for the change that I want. And things have definitely improved. I’m now a clerk in my unit, helping out with various projects such as my unit’s website on the army’s intranet. It’s definitely a job that’s more up my alley.

That happened around the middle of the year, and I started finding my feet in the army, now that I had a more suitable job scope. But I wasn’t quite ready to come back to this blog yet. The time away from the blog made me realize that I needed to prove myself. As I mentioned at that time, I didn’t want to come back to the blog until I thought I was able to back up what I was writing. I needed to prove, at least to myself, that I had some sort of value.

I struggled a lot with that. And truth be told, I still do. I still have a huge amount of self-doubt, as to whether I’ll really become the person I think I’m capable of being. Or whether I’ll end up a flop, who didn’t measure up to expectations. But worrying about it can only get you so far, and you never fully know until you try.

So, in about August, I finally got around to kickstarting a project of my own, DreamFledge. It’s going to be my biggest endeavour yet, and only time will tell how it’ll go. The site is being developed by Morgante Pell, with design help from Miriam Brafman. The original idea was mine, but a lot of people have played a part in shaping it. I’ll share more about that when I announce it’s launch. But basically, I’ve finally gotten around to trying to do something. And I’m happy about that.

About a month ago, I also started a new blog, Counting the Odds. It’s a personal experiment for me, sort of. I’m a firm believer in the idea that you can make a living doing what you love to do. But I think before I try to spread that message, I need to live it. So that’s what I’m trying to do with Counting the Odds. I’m trying a number of different things there, and seeing whether I can build a reputation around the niche of the mathematics of poker. And whether I can possibly monetize that in a year or two (outside of any income from the actual poker game itself).

In between all of that, I’m thinking of applying to college next year. Rather, I’m in the midst of applying. But I’m refusing to do a standard application, because, well, that’s just who I am (actually, no, I have my reasons, and I’ll share them in a future post soon).

That’s how my 2009 has been in a nutshell. Started out with me falling into a mild/moderate depression. After I got out of that, I fell into a strain of self doubt and questioning my ability and my worth. And finally, being able to get out of it and take action.

So, yes, it’s been a whirlwind of a year. I still have my struggles, and my friends will more than happily attest to that. But I do think I’ve manage to come out of it, and to come out on top (kind of). I’ve got two projects in their infancy, and I’m really looking forward to what 2010 brings and whether I can make those two projects successful.

What about you? How has 2009 been for you – and what does 2010 hold?

Photo by A_Gude

So, what have I been up to? Lately (and for the next few months), my efforts have been focused on two main projects – my new blog, Counting the Odds, and my startup which is planned to launch next year, DreamFledge. I’ve also been working on my college application. You’ll definitely hear about all those things in the future.

I’m still in the army, and it still kind of sucks, but I’ve more or less settled down here. I spend my time as a clerk, doing some administrative work, but also doing some macros and all to help my unit’s productivity. So that’s been a positive out of it.

What’s next for me? I really don’t know. A lot depends on how the two aforementioned projects work out. But I assure you, if you stick around, you’ll be one of the first to know.

Those of you in Singapore might have seen an article about me in Today newspaper a couple of days ago. And as is stated in the article, I do feel like I’m in a “transitional” phase.

The reason for this is two-fold. Firstly, National Service has definitely affected me, as anyone who knows me personally will know. I’m not one who does well when forced into something. I quit school because I didn’t see a point, for example. And NS is something I can’t quit. I’m slowly coming to terms with it (or trying to), but it’s tough. Being stuck in a forced job, in an extremely regimental environment, is a far cry from anything I’d want, and the adjustment is hard. And NS has left me rather jaded, to say the least. (And to those who think I’m grumbling too much, please spare me the “you can choose to be happy despite your circumstance” spiel, I’ve heard that enough).

But I’m far from giving up, and that’s actually the second reason why I haven’t been too involved in the social media scene lately. Yes, I’ve said that “the web has really opened so many doors for me”, and it’s true. But now that the doors have been open, it’s time for me to take some action and go through them, instead of just opening more doors. I love the scene, I love having the chance to be a part of the community, I love having the opportunity to meet and interact with brilliant minds such as yours. But it’s time for me to get out and do something.

I don’t want to be just another blogger, another voice in the crowd. I need to know that I have some insight or unique value I can provide. I need to prove, if not to anyone else, then to myself at least, that I am made of more than just intelligent talk. I need to prove that I am capable of producing quality action.

And I am working on that, or trying to. Trying to get a virtual internship for a marketing/branding project, trying to start up a Facebook app, etc. I’ve got a number of things I’m trying to line up, so hopefully something will work out.

In the meantime, I’ll still be on Twitter, so if you want to chat, you can look me up there. If I have your contact details, I’ll try my best to keep in touch with you. If I don’t, I’d still love to hear from you – you can add me on Facebook, or drop me an email.

This is (hopefully) not the last you’ve heard from me on here. When I’ve decided I’m capable (and proven to myself that I’m capable) of providing value, I’ll be back.

As Shakespeare put it, “If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made”.

Keep creating,
Derrick

But yes, as the title of this post says, I’ll be going on a blogging hiatus for a while. How long, I’m not sure, but you can subscribe via RSS or via email to stay posted, and get informed when I come back. And if you want to talk to me, I can still be reached by email, and occasionally by IM (IM details in the sidebar)

I just feel that in my current condition, I don’t think I can provide proper value to all of you reading this blog. And rather than take up your time and attention, I’ll take a step back for now. I’ll be back though, when I get my own life and issues sorted out, and hopefully I’ll come back stronger than before. I hope you don’t forget me, and hope to see you around when I do come back.

But for now, that’s all folks. It’s been a great journey, and I hope you’ll join me again when I’m ready to continue it.