As a continuation of the previous post on being different, I feel like I should point out something.

Yes, being different, doing things differently from others, is where your wins are going to come from. I’m a firm believer in being different and doing your own thing; anyone who knows me should know that. But note also that it’s where your losses will stem from as well, if you make mistakes. And we all will make mistakes at some point.

It’s a risk, for sure. But the alternative is stagnation. I, personally, would rather take the risk.

In the world of reciprocality, it’s not what you do that matters most, and it’s not what they do. It’s both. Reciprocality is any difference between you and your opponents that affects your bottom line. Reciprocality says that when you and your opponents would do the same thing in a given situation, no money moves, and when you do something different, it does.

It’s not necessarily what you do, it’s what you do differently from others. It’s how you set yourself apart that matters, and where the profit comes from.

And it’s true not only in poker, but in all of life, I think. If you’re doing the same things as everybody else, you’re not gaining an advantage. You’re not pulling ahead. What matters the most is what you do differently from others.

What are you doing today that’s different – that help sets you apart?

And in retrospect, she could be right. I’ve gotten away with a lot of things. Given the stuff I’ve done, I should have got into way more trouble than I have, and I should have been far from where I am now. But I’m not. Why? Partly, I think it’s because I’m capable of bullshitting my way out of most situations.

But that’s not what I want to focus on now, because I don’t think it’s the most important thing. I think the most important things is this: I’m willing to try and push the system. I’m willing to go against the system, to test the limits, and to take the leap and see what happens.

And I think that’s the first, and arguably most important step in beating the system. Having that willingness to take the risk, to stand by what you want, and go for it. Too many people, especially here in Singapore, worry about getting into trouble. They worry that if they test the rules, or the authority, that they will get completely screwed over and things will be horrible. But more often than not, that’s not true.

Of course, you don’t just break the rules for the sake of it. But if you see a rule that you think is pointless, if there’s a part of the system you don’t agree with, have the courage to go against it. Once you get rid of that fear (of getting into trouble, of being outcast, etc), you’re halfway there.

Taking the leap is half the battle won.

What’s stopping you from going against the system, and living life on your own terms?

To be perfectly honest, I don’t have the answer myself. I’m struggling with that too. But poker has thought me a couple of things about it, though.

Firstly, it’s thought me to go back to basics when things aren’t going my way. More often than not, when things aren’t going well, the best way to get back on track is just to go back to basics. Things that won’t set the world alight, but you know will give you consistent results. Do that for a while, get some confidence back, and you’ll be back on track.

Secondly, while you’re doing that, figure out why exactly it is that you’re not succeeding as much as you think you should. You have to be perfectly honest with yourself. Sometimes, you just aren’t doing the right thing, and you need to re-evaluate your strategy/actions.

Thirdly, I think sometimes, the best thing to do is just take a break. Take a step away from it all – it’ll sometimes give you a fresh perspective on things.

That’s my three tips for getting out of a slump. But again, just my opinion. You guys probably have better ideas than I do, and I would love to hear them. So, yeah, what do you do when you feel you’re in a slump?

The biggest thing about the loss, though, was the way it happened. Arsenal had most of the possession, they passed it around well. They even created a few chances and all, but in the end they could not score. They couldn’t make the most of having controlled possession.

Chelsea on the other hand, had 3 shots all match. 2 of them went in, and 1 hit the crossbar. That’s pure efficiency. And that’s why we won.

And I think that’s true of anything in life as well. It’s all well and good being elegant and all, but at the end of the day, you need to be aware of whatever opportunities come up.You’ll always have opportunities and chances to achieve what you want. But you need to take your chances, or you’ll never win.

What opportunities around you are missing?

I think it’s a really good series. So here’s mine. The Pixelated – Sui Generis Conference. 7 sessions (in no particular order, because I think you should watch all of them) about being remarkable, following your passions, and changing the world.

If you the videos don’t appear (if you’re reading via RSS, for example), you can check it out here.

And if you like it, feel free to grab the list and share it. Or better yet, make your own and join be part of the series.

I understand where she’s coming from. And I’ve heard that statement so many times, especially when people ask me about why I quit school. But I don’t agree. The question is, why play it safe? As Seth Godin has said, in today’s world, ‘safe is risky”.

The semi-finals of the World 10-Ball Championship between Niels Feijen and Darren Appleton was a great example. Feijen consistently went for safety shots. Even when he could make the offensive shot, he chose to go down the safe path. And eventually, he lost out.

If you play not to lose, you won’t win. You won’t make the right decisions, and ultimately, you won’t come up on top. As the book “Sway” by Ori and Rom Brafman points out, fear of loss is one of the main reasons behind bad decisions. Kathy Sierra has talked about “death by risk aversion” as well.

If you want to be the best, you have to take risks. And why settle for anything less than the best?

There’s really nothing much I can add to what he says. If you haven’t already, you really should watch it – it’s more than worth the 15 minutes.

As a side point, I just want to say that this is the reason why I blog. Above anything else, the pleasure of connecting with new people and making new friends.

But what I want to point out is this. She knew a lot about me because of my blog. When we first talked, she already had judgments about what I was like as a person – and most of it is accurate, in my opinion.

That shows her insightfulness, but more importantly, it shows the power of your online presence. Daryl Tay recently asked a question about how important it is to manage your online identity. And here’s my answer: yes, it is definitely very important. Your online identity reveals a lot about you. People can easily judge and conclude what you are like through your online identity.

In real life, whatever you do and say play a huge part in people’s opinions about you.

Online, that is amplified, especially because the people who are reading it may not yet know you personally.

The chat with Wan Lyn has confirmed the importance of managing your online identity, in my mind at least. Things that I didn’t even put much thought into went some way into forming her opinion about me.

Every little thing on your blog or your online identity – your blog design, what you put on your blog, your style of writing, everything – it all affects what people think of you. And personally, I think it’s really important.

What is your online identity (your blog, Twitter, etc) saying about you?

The sports parts are related because, well, I think sports are a very good analogy to life. The mental aspects and decision making – the games are almost like a miniature replica of life.

The technology aspects come in because I believe that technology (especially in today’s Web 2.0 world) can be an amazing resource for that. It makes it a lot easier to realize your potential.

And so, on that note, I want to ask you to share your thoughts.

How has social media and Web 2.0 impacted your life? Has it helped make you a better person or improved you in any way?

I’d love to hear your story.